Gills RSD (CRPS)

April.

April 1st

Started making a teddy bear for my friend Debbies Birthday, on the 5th of April. I know this does not give me much time, it's already cut out so that saves around two hours. The fur is very thick so the stitching takes a lot of doing. I could do it on my sewing machine, but, if I do it wrong it's a lot of hassle to unpick it. Went quite well, sewing a bit hard on my fingers. I stabbed myself a few times and made my them bleed. The worst bit was getting the joints, nose and eyes in place. They just would not go in and snap together because of the thicker fur I think. I gave up- and will try tomorrow. The trouble is my hands are not very strong and my grip is not good either. The joints are all safety ones, once in they will not come out. I found this out once when making another teddy. I put the leg I think it was, where the arm should be or an arm where the leg should be. I had to cut a new leg out and resew, but it was all well in the end. Hopefully, things will go better tomorrow.

2nd

Bed around 4am, I did not feel too good today a lot of pain and still getting bad headaches. Once I was in bed. I must have gone to sleep and was woken up by barking, I started to get out of bed. Then I realized it could not have bean Summer. After that, I could not settle for ages.

Did a bit more of the teddy today it went better and I managed to get all the joints in using a nut (nut and bolt type) and hammer the nut helped hold the long part of the joint called the shaft, and just a sharp tap on the hammer they went in. I did have to redo the nose as the shaft broke but that was quite easy to put right. I just cut off the shaft and used another nose. Just needs stuffing now and it will be ready for Debbies Birthday. Last year I made her a knitted Womble and she loved it.

Mr womble. Orinoco

I looked after Jamie- Lee from about six pm till around ten thirty pm so that was nice. She showed me the crochet things, she had bean doing and they look really good. She has made headbands, and part of a blanket so far, that I have seen. Jamie-Lee went home now time for me to relax if the pain will let me.

4th

Started knitting a little baby jacket for Jay-Jay's and Molly's baby. She said she has loads of things. So I making a six months plus size. My Nephew Lliam and his wife Fiona are having a girl so I have started on a blanket for them. Their baby is not due till September so plenty of time. I still need to finish off Andrew's hoddie so loads to be getting on with.

5th

Happy Birthday Debbie, I gave her the presents and she loved the Teddy.

Jeffery.

She said I was very clever. She did not realize to start with, I had made him. Andrew had given him the name Jeffery. Debbie said she might keep that name for him. I had three unexpected visitors today Jenny, Angela, and Andy, well Andy I see a lot. The other two just came and sort of knew I would be here, I mostly am. Not really bean out much since Summer passed away. Apart from the walks Andrew and I do, going late afternoon so not many visitors at that time. I used to always go out with Summer first thing. I have missed the common very much as used to seeing my friends there.

Pauls's Brother Malcolm was admitted to the hospital with pain in his side. Paul took him to the hospital after Malcolm rang him up. He was vising Pam his wife, when the pain got unbearable. Pam who is temporarily in a care home after her broken leg last month. She now has a brace on it. The leg she broke is the one that was the most affected by her stroke a few years ago, so she has not got much feeling in it, so not in too much pain. Malcolm was put on a drip, nill by mouth, and told that it might be a bowel blockage but will do more tests and scans. Paul got home around two thirty in the morning. Lincoln Hospital are not very fast at doing things.

7th

Finished off the knitting of the Aran jacket now, and added a hat with a bobble, which took three attempts to get right. Still need to put the toggles on but have none so I need to go into town.

Looking after Andy's cat Smudge, today and at breakfast time he was waiting near his door and wowing as if to say come on, I want my breakfast. He was soon fed and happy again. Andy is only away one day so not too long for him. I left him to eat his food and told him I would be back later. When I went back mid-afternoon he was not as hungry so I played with him for a while, then left him again to eat what he wanted of his dinner. One more visit then good night Smudge. Andy will be back sometime tomorrow. Paul went to see his Brother, and Malcolm said he felt a bit better, hungry but not in as much pain. Andrew and I went for another long walk no shopping this time though. Felt quite warm as well is Spring on the way?

8th

Went across to feed Smudge and he was sitting outside again waiting for me. Fed him Stayed a while but he was more interested in his food so I left him to it. Going to see Pam today and take a few clothes and bits, probably washing as well to bring back. Pam was well, her leg in a brace thing. The leg is the one most affected by her stroke, so not much feeling there. Not sure how long she will be staying there. With Malcolm in hospital, there is no one to look after her, as Malcolm is her sole carer. Andy is home today so Smudge will be pleased, He is a very loving cat and likes a lot of attention. Malcolm phoned and said he can come home today. He will be seen as an out-patient.

10th

A big storm today with thunder and lightning and with downpour rain. The air was a lot cleaner after, as I can feel quite bad as it affects me with headaches and just a very heavy body. Pain everywhere on a really bad storm day. Yesterday I know it felt very heavy. Andrew And I braved a walk hoping we would not get caught in the showers or storms we keep having, as some are very heavy. Another long walk and no- we did not get wet, just got home in time.

11th

Sunny start to the day, quite mild too. Washing and general housework. Paul is helping Lindsay move the last bits from her house to the flat, that will be home till a bigger place is available. She has to carry her dog Suey up the two flights of stairs, she is sixteen years old and finds the stairs difficult not an easy task as she weighs four stone.

13th

Happy Birthday, Malcolm, have a good day. Pam is coming home today so that will be a good day all round.

Cleaned up downstairs. Andrew was going to B.Q. so I decided to go along for a walk. I was quite tired and ached a lot but I thought the walk would maybe help. On the way back we saw one of our friends. He is the son of Ben who used to live next door, permanently in a wheelchair after a bad car accident. He had a new dog, and very friendly he was. He did not know about Summer and asked about her. I told him and he was very sorry. He has lost dogs so he knows how hard it is. Nice walk but I was so tired my short nights do not help, four hours of broken sleep a night is not good.

Paul picked up a cooker for Lindsay as the flat had not got one, not new, but Paul said it was in very good condition. Fitted in now and ready for trying. She cooked sausage casserole for their tea. Everything seems to be working well and she is pleased with it. Things are getting done in the flat so that's good. The flat is very warm as new boiler and radiator have just bean fitted. The old house was cold and drafty.

A wet day, hardly stopped raining all day. I sorted out all my wool and wound up any balls that had got tatty. Started knitting a baby jacket for my Nephew Lliam and his wife as the baby girl is due in September. I am making it a bigger size too as she has a lot of things already. Lindsay phoned up and said Suey was not well. She thinks she has a prolapsed womb. A trip to the vet he thinks the same. He tried to push the prolapsed back in but could not. She needs an operation, not good as she is sixteen years old. Come on Suey you can do it.

Look at the beautiful sky we had at sunset.

So lovely.

15th

A phone call from Lindsay, Suey is ok and doing very well, come through her operation, and should be home today. There was a tumor in her womb so a full hysterectomy was done plus an extra bit inside her bits. Well done Suey. They are coming here for a few days, as Lindsay will not be able to carry her upstairs with a stomach wound. Suey is not too bad a bit dazed and wobbly on her feet. Lindsay gave her a bit of chicken roll and she hooved it up. Jamie-Lee and I did laugh. Jamie-Lee will have the bedroom and Lindsay and Suey will have the front room.

16th

Andrew and I decided to go for a walk taking Jamie-Lee as well. We went along the river bank ending up in Boultham Park. Andrew and Jamie-Lee had a great time going on the climbing frames and other activities. I went on some but most of the time just watched them. We left the park and walked back home. I cooked tea roast beef for most of us. Sausages for Jamie-Lee and Tommy-Lee (Jamie-Lees Brother) joined us as well. Everyone enjoyed their tea. Andrew did not join us, eating later instead.

17th

Quite a warm heavy day. Suey is doing well, sleeping most of the time eating a bit and going out for wees.

The Mars rocket was meant to blast off today but did not, something to do with the pressure. The next date is Friday.

18th

Met Joy in town, the first time this year I have seen her. Had a cup of tea, that Joy treated me to and a good chat. Got some more wool and a few other bits. Also a crochet set of Harry Potter's Luna for Jamie-Lee to make. Being looking after Suey while Paul takes Jamie-Lee to School, so she is not on her own. A sunny day but a cold wind from the North. I felt funny, later a headache, and not right but not sure how to describe it. After being in bed for a while I realized I had not taken my night time tablets. Came down and took them and soon felt better. My body had gone into withdrawal because of the MORPHINE.

19th

Looks like another nice day. Suey improves every day and is doing so well. I leaned over into the bin slipped and bashed my chest against it I think I have cracked a rib, it hurts to breathe in and move the slightest bit. Finished off the Aran jacket and hat for Jay-Jay and Molly's baby Cory James.

I think it came out nice it's a pattern I like doing, so I think that helps.

22nd

Jamie-Lee has a friend here so she is happy today. Her friend is the granddaughter of a friend I used to visit quite a lot. They both had a good time playing outside with snails. They both like Harry Potter. Her friend was dressed as Harry Potter.

23rd

Leg of lamb for tea today but it was not cooked enough, so it was sausages all round. Lamb tomorrow instead. Funny because Lindsay's friend Cherel asked me how to cook lamb, I could not even get my own joint right. Suey is doing amazing-- here she is in bed, She likes to be covered up as feels the cold a lot. A bit camera shy too.

Recovering well.

My chest is a bit painful and I have to hold myself when I cough or lean forward. I am sure I have cracked a rib and bruised my chest. Breathing in is painful.

24th

Three big loads of washing all dried just got it in before a big shower of rain. Suey at the vet to hear if the tumour was anything sinister. Good news no cancer or anything like that a bit of infection that will easily clear up with the prescribed antibiotics. I cleaned around but the vacuuming Lindsay did to save my chest from hurting. She got me a different brush for my vacuum so she used that and said it was good.

25th

Cold to begin with then very warm, people in shorts and T-shirts. In town today quick visit, I got Jamie-Lee some wool for her crocheting. I also got some for a baby jacket for Jay-Jay's and Molly's baby boy that will soon be here. The wool lady had got in new colours. I am doing a pattern from a lady I follow on youtube- Shiela, when finished I will show it here. The jacket for my Nephew Lliam and his wife Fiona going well, also the blanket is growing. I will put up a picture when both are finished.

Woke up feeling a bit hot and headache. Lindsay has not bean well for a few days, with a headache and muscle aches. Jamie-Lee says she is not feeling well either but you can never be sure with her. They both have tested positive for covid. Lindsay asked if they should go home. I was not too sure. Could she manage Suey up the stairs without hurting her? In the end, Lindsay decided to go. She packed up their stuff and they were gone. Hopefully, things will be ok Lindsay is not very strong at the moment. I asked if Tommy-Lee could take Suey up and down the stairs? She said Tommy-Lee was scared of dropping her.

Lindsay bought me a hot water bottle deluxe. Used later in bed, it keeps my legs and feet warm. Thank you Lindsay I said you did not have to buy me anything for having you stay here at all.

27th

Washed all the bedding from Lindsay and Jamie-Lee's beds. Just about dried be for it started to rain. My friend Debbie was here so she rushed off to get her washing in too. Paul is away this weekend for a Charity do. So just me and Andrew here, he is not too well either. Rang Lindsay up all doing well she is coping with Suey up the stairs, but only just. Nice and quiet without Jamie-Lee who loves to try and prove you are wrong in some way. Most of the time is wrong herself.

28th

Paul left this morning and will be back on Sunday midday ish. He is calling at Lindsay's to take the bits that got left behind when they went. I am going to clean all the upstairs over the weekend and change our bedding.

The Mars rocket took off with a massive blast but something went wrong in the sky and a controlled explosion took place, but it did take off which was the aim of the launch. Well done Space X. It was a hell of a blast and did quite a bit of damage to the launch site and beyond.

29th

Rung Lindsay, things are improving and Suey is doing very well. Lindsay said her back and shoulders still hurt. Andrew still hurts, but his legs hurt more than his body. Ran him a bath to see if that will help. All you can do is go with it and wait for it to run its course. I had a bath later and Andrew listened out for any problems. I have had seizures in the bath, so meant to have someone close by. Not sure what Andrew could have done if the worst had happened. I was ok and had a nice bath and hair wash. All upstairs is clean and tidy again. Andrew and I had a small Chinese neither of us had much appetite. Very nice what we had though. Paul is home tomorrow around midday like I said.

29th

Paul arrived home just before midday he had enjoyed his weekend. Washing and more knitting today, an easier one as bean very busy over the weekend. Doing this Blog. Will cook tea later but not too much else.

Well, another month has gone by, Spring I think is here for us in the UK anyway. A mixed Month with Lindsay being here with Suey, This was hard for me after Summer, but nice in some ways as she is a very loving dog, and gentle too. I miss Summer so much. I am pleased things went well for Suey and she at least was ok. All the best to everyone love Gill.

March

March 2nd

Paul is at the hospital volunteering so on my own again. Since Summer went I am now truly on my own. Cleaning and a few other household jobs, ironing too. Later Andrew and I did a walk to Hobbycraft to get a few bits he wanted. Nice out along the river bank but the wind is very cold.

3rd

Rest day today, as busy yesterday. Just doing a few odd bits and more knitting of the white baby blanket I am making for the same lady I made the cardigans and pink blanket for. Another walk with Andrew along the river. Got some light for the trellis where the little bouncy bugs are so it's lit up at night.

4th

Andrew put up the lights so hopefully, they will look good when its night time. They are solar powered so the sun is needed to power them up. Paul is out again so just me most of the time. Andrew has helped me by going for walks, but it's not the same without Summer toddling close by.

5th

Radio 1- Arielle Free Dj is doing a bike ride for Red Nose Day. Tour De Dance /Comic Relief. The bike is no ordinary bike, a ten-man one like the Dutch beer bikes in Amsterdam. She and nine others will be biking every day covering five cities starting in York, then Leeds, Sheffield, Manchester, and finally finishing at Liverpool. Ten miles a day, she will be Djing the whole time. The other nine riders will change though out the day and over the next five days. Arielle will be on the bike for the whole ten hours apart from rest and physio breaks. The bike I have bean told weighs around one and a half tons. Good luck hope it goes well and the weather is kind.

6th

Up at eight despite not going to bed till four-thirty last night. I am not sleeping well since Summer went, as I am thinking about her when I go to bed. I should be tired but I don't feel tired at all. Maybe catch up with me later. Cleaning up downstairs. Jay-Jay my Grandson is nineteen today, so a Very Happy Birthday To You. Going to see him later. He was born the year I fell so he has never seen me active like I used to be when running. A good year and a bad one, all rolled into one. Jay-Jay was born with a hole in his heart which the Doctors knew about be for he arrived. His birth was not straightforward his heart rate dropped to about ten beats a minute. Lindsay was rushed to the theatre for an emergency caesarean. The Doctors managed to deliver him by forceps as she was so far on. All was well in the end but he did have to go to Sheffield the next day to see a specialist there. More visits as he got older but all seemed to be well. He still has the hole but it does not bother him too much. Saw Jay-Jay later gave him his card and money. I will get him a few bits when in town.

The Lilly that Mary and Rory got me is fully out now and is so lovely.

7th

In town, today to get Jay-Jay bits of shower stuff, and two bags of Haribo sweets, you're never too old for them. I got wool for the blankets I am going to be knitting later in the year plus another ball of white to keep in. Well stocked up now with wool. Another walk with Andrew along the river bank and through Boutham Park nearby, about an hour-plus walk. Nice and peaceful along the river bank too. Cold strong wind again. In the park, we saw ducks and seagulls, they are very greedy birds one was trying to take a piece of bread out of a duck's beak but he held on to it and ate it. I know the seagulls are hungry too but they expect it all and do not want to share.

Arielle Free on Radio 1 is doing well but is saddle-sore. The weather is getting colder with snow on its way. Sheffield she says is hilly and taking its toll on her. Halfway now, keep going you are doing really well.

8th

After a very cold night -3-4C we have a bit of snow. some places have had loads causing problems in places. Wayne has had quite a bit as well. Icey strong wind today.

Arielle is struggling with the cold and the snow. She is broken and in pain, and so cold- her words, but will carry on. People who have bean on the bike for a short session are saying how hard it is and so, so cold. The DJ set broke down as well so that was a setback as time has to be made up later. Come on girl you are nearly there just today, and tomorrow then rest and warmth for you.

9th

Snow at nine this morning, is quite heavy too, we might get some proper snow yet. Later it was still snowing heavily and settling more. Andrew and I are going for a snowy walk later. Very sore eyes today I think with the cold winds and tears as well. Cleaning up a bit later, and a bit more knitting going well with the cardigan and baby blanket. Later Andrew and I did go for a walk but not a snowy one as we thought as all snow has gone. Wayne still has loads and sent pictures to Paul.

Video (above) of the snow in our garden

The walk was nice but so cold with the strong wind. We went along the river bank again, a nice like I said quiet walk. I have not bean back on the common properly yet, as a bit too painful (only along the top with Andrew.) Summer and I did not really go down the river much. She preferred the common with all her and my friends. When Andrew and I got back Arielle was on her last bit of the bike ride. Today she found it very hard going. She hurts and sometimes had to be lifted off the bike and put back on again. She will find strength somewhere and the crowds will help her along. There are in Liverpool as its the last day. When I was running and used to race, you are all in but get near the finish line and somehow you find extra strength to pull you along sometimes to even sprint to the finish. Arielle has finished the bike ride of her life broken, sore, and so tired. The total raised up to now is over £500,000 Very well done Arielle and all those that took part how ever small. More money will be coming in for a few days.

10th

Bit more of the blanket and cardigan knitting going well. Tired today and still head ache from the beginning of January. I was sat knitting when a picture popped up on my Google screen of Summer as if to say I am still here with you, then flashed off again.

11th

Lindsay's dog Suey has not bean too well, she is an old dog with a few problems. Summer and her were very best friends

I am now starting to decrease the blanket now as the right size, 210 stitches on the needles. Had to use circle ones for a while, not very keen on these but there were just too many stitches for the needles they were on. Now decreasing, the rows will obviously get shorter, but a way to go yet. Warm today 13c the last few days being around 4-6C what a contrast, still very windy with rain now so, we will probably not get snow at all to settle. Some say good but I like snow.

13th

A windy cloudy sunny day all the weathers today. Not cold 13C again I have taken in my little bouncy bugs as they were going a bit too crazy and I was worried they would get broken.

16th

Cleaning up downstairs today. Paul is at the hospital volunteering. Went with Andrew on another walk this time we went shopping at Home Bargains. Not to get anything just a look, this cost me in the end 27 pounds. I got more solar lights for the garden to put with the others I got last week. Andrew got a fan and phone holder plus a few bits. Also, the bargain of the day, Primulas for ten pence for six they just need a good soak then they will be alright.

17th

Went to see Mum, Dad, and Phillip at the Garden Of Rest. I went on my bike- not bean on it for a while as my balance has bean off a bit. No problems going, coming back I got a puncture, so I had to push it all the way home, around a mile I would say. My bike is very heavy as electric not noticeable when riding but very much so when pushing it for a distance. My shoulders ached and my arms hurt. My left shoulder has not bean right since I slipped last year on the ice falling on my left side with most of the weight on my shoulder and arm, hitting my head as I fell.

Paul got some posh fishcakes for tea, to me they were not any different, just a bit bigger (large portions Wayne). My sense of smell and taste has not come back yet. I can sense curry on my lips and tongue but not really any taste. Paul said the fish cakes were not a lot different either.

18th

Planted the primulas they look really good now after a good soak of water. Going to rain later so that will be good for them. Bit more knitting of the baby blanket and Andrew's hoodie which is not going too well. I will finish it for him and it will be the best I can do. This is why I prefer doing baby things or straightforward bits. Too many stitches and takes too long to do adult things. I am wanting to get things done faster than I can knit. Paul mended my puncture, and I cleaned my bike it gleams now I used car polish so it will be protected too.

19th

Mother's day presents, a Scottie dog from Lindsay, with a plant which is going in the garden, and was replaced with a cactus, plus some chocolate. A Steampunk cat from Wayne and Kayleigh, they sent a card too and Lindsay added her name to it. Wayne said what a cheek.

What a cheek.

Thank you, Wayne and Kayleigh.

The cat I named Spock from Star Trek, and the dog Scottie also from Star Trek.

Scottie Dog.

Spock cat.

Was going out with Andrew but with Lindsay here, it will be tomorrow instead. Suey Lindsay's dog came too. She is getting old now sixteen. Her joints are very stiff and she walks very robotic-like. She was looking for Summer and spent a long time near her resting place. I explained to her that she is no longer here. When Suey is tired she always goes in Summer basket to sleep she was confused it was not there. Lindsay went off to see her friend Jack and brought him back here. I gave him his Christmas present as had not seen him since the end of last year.

20th

Sorting out the toy cupboard and got a lot for the charity shop. things fit in there a lot better now and there is more room for the puzzles. Some things will be saved for Jay-Jay and Molly's baby. Cooked a Sunday dinner of roast beef plus all the trimmings. Very nice it was too. No knitting today as my wrists are a bit sore. I Learned today that Pam my Sister in Law has broken her leg and is in Skegness hospital, as no beds in Lincoln County. Skegness is a least an hour away from Lincoln, County is about fifteen minutes. A long drive for Malcum her Husband to go to see her. Nice walk with Andrew along the riverbank.

21st

A cloudy day but not cold. Sorted out the Lilly plant that Mary and Rory got me it will go in the garden at a later date. Also, the big olive plant that I receive as a present a few years ago from Ben's Daughter Ben used to live next door with Cilla but now both have sadly passed away. Got cleaned up downstairs apart from the front room that is.

22nd

Changed the bedding and got it all dried. Bit more knitting of the blanket below 100 sts now( did have 220) only decreasing 1 stitch a row so still a way to go before its finished.

Phoned Malcolm to see how Pam is doing. He said she is quite happy with some other ladies in the ward. Not sure what is happing as he keeps getting told different things. Hopefully, she will soon be home or at least in Lincoln hospital.

23rd

Got a breast scan today at the hospital I walked there and back, around four miles plus, as it was a nice day. I was going to bus it and walk back, but as I had plenty of time so I decided to walk it. The route is up quite a big hill so it gets the back of your legs. This is the hill I used to run up and down many times with no problems even talking as we went when in the running club - Good Days. The scan went well with no problems just wait now for the results in around two weeks. Got some violas for the garden this should fill it up now and look very pretty for a long time without me having to do much to it.

The blanket is now finished and looks really good.

Baby blanket.

All done.

4-ply cardigan.

This little cardigan I have made not sure Linda will want it. I wanted to see if I could still work with 4ply wool. A bit fiddly but I got used to it.

24th

Dentist today for a checkup of a bit of tooth that broke away. I thought it would be done today but no only one dentist on and no receptionist either. I need to go back at an unknown date as no appointment yet, as the stand-in receptionist could not make me one. Still charged twenty-odd pounds for a check-up that was not due (went end of last year) and will need to pay again for filling the tooth. I thought it would be a joint cost. All the new light and a new boingy insect who is called Hoopy has one leg missing. This should look good come night- time.

Hoppy.

Peek a boo

The red light middle left is the bug I have called Ben, his bum lit up.

I was chatting to Katie next door to us. I had not seen her to speak to this year. I was ill, and then she was ill too and we just did not see each other. She said how sorry she was to hear about Summer both of us shed some tears. I said goodbye and went home. A few minutes later she was at the door with some flowers. What a lovely thought Katie and thank you very much.

Lovely.

Started knitting a baby jacket for a Christmas present I know it has only just gone the last one. This will give me an option. It's in Aran wool so knits up quickly. These last few weeks I have knitted with 4ply, Double knit (DK), and now Aran. What a difference to change from one to the other. Paul put all the Action man stuff in the shed till Lindsays gets a new house. The house she is in is being sold so the landlady wants her out. Hopefully, she will get a house soon as she is very worried about three children a dog, and a hamster. Put violas in the garden they look very happy in there. Also I will not need to do much to the garden for the next few months that is apart from weeding.

I think they all look very pretty, don't you?

I put a lot on Summer's little place.

27th

Good news Lindsay has bean offered an upstairs flat. Only two bedrooms, but it's better than a bed and breakfast at a Hotel somewhere. She was one of four people wanting a place, and they ended up in Peterborough. That would have bean devastating for her and the children. The outcome for her is good. It's going to be a bit of a squeeze but she will cope. Now at least she can relax a bit knowing that it's her place till the council find her a bigger house.

Redoing a bit more of Andrew's hoodie as the pattern I do not like it as it's not how I would have done the pattern. I know Sheila said the same about a pattern for a baby hoodie with very much the same style. I know I would not do this pattern again without adaptations.

29th

Doing some of the blog, ready to publish soon. Bit more knitting of Andrew's hoodie, I will get this looking right, hopefully very soon so Andrew can wear it.

Went to see Lindsay's new place look good for her. The bedrooms are very big, one like two in one. the small bedroom is a double. Tommy has got a double bed in there so lots of room still and it's around the back away from the road so a lot quite. The kitchen is big, the bathroom is small but ok. It really needs decorating but I think Lindsay will not do anything much to it, instead saving the money for the next place. The only downside its upstairs and Lindsay will need to carry Suey her dog up and down them. She is a collie staffy cross so not lightweight. Knowing Lindsay she will find a way. I said to her she be have to have a hoist like the Dutch people in Amsterdam. All the best Lindsay and family, relax now and breathe.

30th

Visit to see Rory and Mary, I took Rory a chew and Mary some Christmas cake which she loves. I told her that there was alcohol in it, she said oh good. A good chat with her. Rory sat as close as he could, he ate his chew and kept snuggling up to me. Some how he makes me feel calmer, he was Summer best friend and they truly loved one another. A few tears though out the visit but I enjoyed the afternoon with them both. Thank you Mary.

31st

Wedding Anniversary today 48 years.

Flowers from Paul

Going to make a teddy today for a friend's Birthday as I think she will love it. It's already cut out, I just need to sew it up, which is a big job as the fur is thick. When finished I will put up a picture to show you all.

Another thought month for me all sorts of emotions from very down to very angry. Summers passing will take a long time for me to get through. Hope you are all feeling good and enjoying good things.

All the best love Gill.

February.

January-Update

My little dog Summer was poisoned by someone being careless with antifreeze which got onto her paws, and she licked them, poisoning her beautiful little body. She passed away on the sixth of January at six am, in my Son Andrew's arms, less than twenty-four hours after the vet told us the devastating news by phone, following a blood test. She was in tears herself as she had not seen a more lovely and more beautiful westie dog. I told her this was the first time she had bean to the vet when ill. Only going for jabs and yearly checkups. She originally thought it was gastroenteritis. Rest in peace little pup you are very much missed.

I did not put out a January Blog.

The sky at sunset 31st Jan.

February 1st

My friend Jenny is having a cataract operation on her eye today. Hope things go well for her. I will ring her later to see how things went. Angela came round to see me and brought flowers, that was really nice of her. She was not sure what to say to me about Summer.

Went to see my friend Mary and Rory her dog. I was a little bothered how this would be as Rory was Summer's boyfriend. When Mary came to see me straight from the common on January 12th. Rory was looking for Summer and kept looking at me confused. I gave him a chew that Summer and I had wrapped up for his Christmas present. Because I did not see them over Christmas, I decided to wait till later. He ate it under the table and then put his paw on my knee. The time came for them to go. He did not really want to go and kept looking at me still confused. Mary phoned me later to say that after Rory had bean cleaned up from the common. He is a collie-type dog and like Summer when he gets a mucky belly. He went under her table, a place where he only goes when he is scared or frightened like bonfire night. The visit to Mary's and Rory's was a mixture of tears and smiles. Rory hardly left me at all, even trying to get in the toilet with me.

4th

Not a good night, I keep hearing Summer crying, and one time I got out of bed to go downstairs. Andrew and I are going for a walk along the river bank (anywhere apart from the common) I can't face that yet. Lovely walk bit cold, but quiet though. We did see other little dogs, one came right up to us for a fuss, I did not know him. I think Dogs when you're sad even the ones that you have not seen before know how you feel. Summer always did and has shared many of my fears and tears. A bit more Knitting later of a blanket, that is now on its third pattern as things did not go well with the first two. I am doing the same style but all one colour this time as the blanket I made for my friend Debbie's Christmas present, finished in November's blog on the 15th. Picture when finished.

Debbie's Blanket.

7th

Frosty and quite cold first off. Washing out so that's good. I feel very lost as I am on my own most of the time. When I was very upset, Summer's picture popped up on Goggle's home hub, and just looked at me. Maybe her spirit is here, not too sure what I believe about that though. I still feel very angry about her going well before her time. A lot of people on the common thought she was younger than twelve around six, most said. But she was twelve and would have gone on a lot longer.

8th

Paul and I went to see our friend John as it's his Birthday today. He is out a lot so to catch him in we went at night after tea, I made him a cake and Andrew made him a coaster with John's Brew on it. He liked both very much. I know he will enjoy his cake maybe a slice later.

9th

Going to see Jenny today, she said she was having a bit of a problem putting her eye drops in, and wanted me to see if she was doing it right. She was, I said you will get used to it then the time will be up and drops are no longer needed. A nice time few tears but I suppose that will be like that for a long time. Jenny is not a dog person but she really liked Summer. Everyone did. I am altering a pair of trousers for her.

10th

Paul has gone to Halifax to pick up Wayne and Kayleigh they are here for two days. This time they will stay at a Hotel nearby, The Tennison. We only have a single bed so Wayne usually sleeps on the settee. Not the best so this time he booked the hotel. Also, it's Summer's bedroom or what used to be. We have not seen them since last July, Wayne's Birthday. They did not come at Christmas as they and we were ill. This was Christmas day for us and them and we exchanged presents. Lindsay and Jamie-Lee are also coming around for Chinese tea. A very good day apart from a lot of pain for me. RSD, always there to spoil things for me. My left arm and shoulder still hurts from where I fell on the ice near the shed last December 17th.

11th

Wayne and Kayleigh had a good night apart from the room being a little warm. The present from them for my Birthday on 13th Feb was a "Tree of Life" a lovely glass one.

Paul did us all bacon butties for late breakfast they were good. Later Lindsay and Jamie-Lee came around, and a bit later Jay-Jay and Mollie also came to see everyone. Spent the afternoon with Wayne and Kayleigh. Paul was at a football match Lincoln City v Bristol. Lincoln won 1-0. Paul returned from football and Lindsay did tea for us all. Wayne, Kayleigh, and Paul only had chip butties, as they were getting a meal later a takeaway of some sort. Everyone else had chips with something. Good, they were too. Paul set off to take Wayne and Kayleigh home to Halifax. He might stay the night or come home he is not too sure depends how tired he is.

12th

Paul did stay the night, so a bit empty this morning as Summer is not there now to greet me when I come down the stairs. My Brother David and Bev, my Sister in Law came round to see me as it's my Birthday tomorrow. The presents were flowers and two boingey little solar light-ups for the garden plus a wrapped present.

Lit up night time.

Light up little ones from David and Bev. I have named Bill and Ben.

A bit later Michelle called but did not come in. She bought me flowers also.

Michelle's flowers.

Paul's Flowers.

13th

My Birthday -There is only one thing I would love more than anything in the world is to have my little girl Summer back but I know she is gone. I got lots of nice things but it was a sad day for me. Paul got me flowers and a Sam Smith CD and posh chocolates. Andrew is going to adopt an alpaca for me a bit later. Lindsay got me primulas for the garden. Angela got me the same but hers are a different type. All very nice. I got chocolate and lovely little messages from Jamie-Lee. A tree of lift from Wayne and Kayleigh. Money from Jenny plus a Chocolate bear, Joy money, also Paul's parent's money. Posh Chocolates from my friend John. From my friend Debbie a book, hand cream, a tray, a mug, and placemats all to match. A dove bath set from my friend Lyn. An Amazon £15.00 gift voucher from my friend Tracy. Also, a box of Roses from my brother and wife to go with the other things.

Cards.

Lots of presents.

Plants from Angela and Dennis (her Brother)

Plants from Lindsay and family- there are three in each pot.

Rose from Mary and Rory for Summer, a few weeks ago.

15th

Not feeling well today raspy throat and head from hell plus hot and cold. Wayne had a cold so it could be the culprit. Taking Echinacea helps soothe things a bit. Resting and just doing a bit of knitting.

16th

My B12 injection today, was done by a new male nurse. He was very good and it did not hurt too much this time. He asked me why the ouch face when I put my coat back on? I told him I fell last year. He asked if I had it X-rayed I said no and told him I did not fancy waiting three to four hours to see someone at A and E. He did not reply to this knowing I was right. I said to him I think I cracked a bone in my forearm and did some to my shoulder, it's getting better so I am not worried about it. Even If I had gone to A and E I do not think they would have put a plaster on, more like a tubagrip or something like that.

18th

Doing Blog today not an easy one to do as about Summer.

I watched a new Star Trek with Andrew today Picard- it was good. A lot of the older Star Trek actors are making an appearance. This will be on every week as well. Something to look forward to. My cold has got a good hold and making me feel really off it. I have not had a cold like this for years. Lindsay is not well either a chest infection.

17th

Well, it's bean six weeks since my beautiful little girl passed away. How do I feel ?? Absolutely devastated, angry, very angry, in disbelief, lost, and in pain. Just about every emotion you could think of. Mary said people on the common were in tears when she told them. The postman did not ring the doorbell for a month, as he could not face me. Summer was his favourite little dog by far. He used to make a big fuss of her. I blame myself, but everyone says it is not my fault. Her feet were wiped every time she came in from her walk. Quite warm today spring-like day.

19th

Another warm day. I do not feel the best today, I ache everywhere and feel quite weak. My chest is tight and I am coughing up stuff. I do not want Antibiotics unless I have to I think it weakens you. Best to let your body heal itself if possible. Lindsay is not well either a bad chest infection she needed Antibiotics and steroids.

21st

Still not much better but need to move as my muscles are getting very tight and going into spasms. Sorted out the flowers that I got for my Birthday as some are past it now. Flowers are very nice but do not last long when the central heating is on.

22nd

My friend Jenny here after having her hair done looks very nice as always. Gave her the trousers I altered for her. Her eye is doing well after her cataract procedure. She did get better at doing the drops as well. Nice catch-up chat she said it was strange without Summer here. Steak for tea tonight, very nice too. After I had finished I saw I had left a bit on my plate for Summer as I usually did, not thinking.

23rd

Doing a bit more of Andrew's hoodie going better now, I had to pull down the hood as a lot too big. Over the years of knitting, I have found that in a lot of patterns, the hood is too big. In baby/children's I usually do the size hood down from the rest. This normally works well. The lady who I made the cardigan and baby blanket for came to pick them up. She was very pleased and gave me more than I asked for. She would like another blanket as well in white. I have not got enough white to do it so a trip to the wool lady soon.

Baby blanket.

Cardigan.

Both.

In town today, a rarity nowadays to get the white wool I need for the blanket, the wool lady had no white at all in fact she was waiting for a lot of her stock to come in. I did get some Aran wool for a baby cardigan I am making later on in the year so not quite a wasted journey. I still need some circle needles for Andrew's hoodie. I do not like the curved needle ones and that's all I have bean able to see at the moment. They make my wrists hurt and that is what they are designed not to do, be ergonomic.

25th

Up before eight that's not much time in bed (bed usually around 3-4am) but I need to get up soon after I wake or the spasms start and they are not easy to get rid of. In the afternoon I went to see Mary and Rory. Rory was very pleased to see me, especially after I gave him a chew. I gave Mary her coaster and glass that Andrew made for her last year. She tried it out while I was there, and said it was perfect. I was to thank Andrew. She was very pleased with it saying how clever he was.

She gave me a present a Lillie plant very pretty I said why a present for me she said for a late Birthday and a friend's one. We just sat talking and at times in tears about Summer. She loved her as well and so did Rory. He still is confused about Summer, or does he know? Left when it was dark around 6pm. Mexican for tea later, not bad but I still prefer Chinese food. Andrews was not the best but Paul seem to enjoy his.

Lovely Lillie.

I will take another picture when fully opened.

26th

Cleaning up downstairs today Paul is starting in the front and me in the bathroom. All finished sit down for a bit. I then started knitting a baby cardigan in 4ply wool, this is a lot finer than double knit- (DK 8 ply) half the thickness Not knitted with this for a while so not sure how it will go. After the first few rows, it was alright and I was quite enjoying doing it with a lot less weight so light on the hands.

Plants are all in the garden now so after the rain we have had they will soon bloom.