Win Some - Loose Some

June 22nd


It has now bean nearly 6 weeks since I came off MST Morphine ,the diarrhoea has now gone & has bean replaced with a lot more pain, but as the days go by this gets a bit less.

Have bean very tired as well as still not getting much sleep, average 4/5 hours broken sleep a night. The less I get, the less, I seem to need, but some nights it is worse than other, Maggie Thatcher did it, so can I [she used to seep 4-5 hours a night, cat napping when she could]



The sweating is still on going not so bad during the day but hell at night, started taking pro banthine again as it helps with sweating [ stopped because of with drawl]. the spasm's also are still here, I sneezed one day my head flew back and refused to move it really hurt, after few minutes massaging the neck it eased back, it hurt for the rest of the day.

My doctor has changed my muscle tablets from baclofen to zanflex to see if it is any better, but I need to come off baclofen slowly first [as it can cause fits if too fast] I have a few more days to go hopefully it will be better.

A lot of days it is hard to think straight and things take longer to do. I have had a lot of trouble with bad stomach pain, tight gripping ones, probably from all the strong tablets I take, so I have bean put on omepprazoleone one a day,it seams to be working well.

Physio is much the same, Wietse did some detoxing by putting needles into my scalp he said it made pretty patterns, it hurt when they went in, but after that it was bearable.
Still having needles in hands,neck,ears one in forehead to calm me down, sometimes shoulders and legs.

Wietse has bean working on my RSD foot massaging and bending it, the foot fights back by spasming up as soon as he touches it. The pain is so bad, a lot of time he has to stop and just hold it.
I sweat like mad and feel dizzy and sick.

You may ask why I let him do this, because it helps believe it or not, the next day it usually swells up & can be bruised, but or few days later it feels a bit like a foot again.

The foot still remains ice cold most of the time but can be red hot and burning, some times all at the same time, all so can be very colour full, blue, red, white, depending weather the foot is cold or hot..

I have not bean with the running club much as not felt up to it, but went last week not too sure if I enjoy it, or just crave something that is not RSD related, but biking is not the same thrill as running not even close, it is nice to see some of the older members plus the new ones of course.

The place where I fell has now bean filled in , pity they did not think of it sooner.

I wore my running shoes for the first time since I fell, they had bean put away for when I returned to running.

All the good memories came back in one giant wave, tears and frustration welled up, thinking if only.

If any of you do a sport or something you love make the most of it you never know how long you have it for !!



take care

Mighty Morphine Power Ranger [Jacks Title]

I have decided the MST morphine has to go...
I am fed up with the constipation, head aches, bad stomach, not being 'with it' most of the time.
I don't know how I will cope but am going to give a good try. I know I am a addict as I have bean on them for over 3 years taking more than a 100 mg a day plus Oromorph.

Last tablet taken 13Th May - 20 mg
I have bean taking less and less over the last 6 months trying not to take too much Oromorph, so the time is right I told doc and physio they both said go for it.

This is my day to day account.

DAY 1

Fine in morning, by night very bad head, slight ache feeling (2 Ibruprofen for head ache 400mg each prescribed). Stomach a bit unsettled.

DAY 2

I woke up 6am (I didn't go to bed till 3 am) and felt like I had fallen out the window and bean put back in to bed, really bad head body ached. I stood up and started shaking, sweating and shivering all at the same time, diarrhoea, feeling sick, my heart was pounding very fast, I thought it would break through my chest. My RSD side is going crazy with pain.
Later in the day I started getting bad spasms in my legs.also I started feeling sick and not wanting food of any sort, vision not too good, took more Ibruprofen. Bones feel like some one is drilling into them. More Ibruprofen spent most of the night early morning on settee going to bed at 5am.

DAY 3/4

Same pains in body and head diarrhoea, very cold goose bumps sneezing a lot, sweating and shaking. When anybody speaks to me I find it hard to make sense of what they are saying.

DAY 5

To day is RACE FOR LIFE DAY I decided to still do it as was not walking far 1 mile max.

Feeling very weak probably from lack of food, very very cold to day but still sweating, can not get any wear near warm, big goose bumps all over body,every wear hurts, still diarrhoea and fast heart rate.
After the race very tired and even colder (it was cold day) pm. Feel really bad have I made the right decision ??? I went to bed early 1- 45 earliest for a long time and I actually slept for a few hours.

DAY 6

Feels like I am in ice, feet in foot warmer blanket wrapped round me still ice cold, even put heating on Diarrhoea a bit better.

DAY 7

Diarrhoea back with vengeance, it seams if I don't eat, I don't get Diarrhoea, heart rate now near normal, but must try to eat something as I loosing weight and feeling more weak as each day comes.

DAY 9

Ate a meal today I though stomach would explode, felt very nauseous but was not sick. Diarrhoea seems to be going. I am not aching as much and feel a bit more 'with it'.

DAY 10

Woke in night with very bad spasms in left leg (good side) my toes curled up and would not go down very pain full. All that day both legs hurt and tried to spasm up. Not as cold too day head ache just about gone, body pain better than last few days. More Ibruprofen, at this rate I will be addicted to them.

DAY 12

Feeling a lot better pain bearable, sweating/cold much improved also getting my appetite back.

DAY 13/14

I have made it, I think, the pain has eased a bit, all so the sweats/cold seam to be getting back to normal the sneezing is better. I feel more like my self now. This has been very hard thing to do but I was determined to try, some days I nearly reached for morphine but over came this, telling myself you can't go on taking more and more power full drugs, it is screwing up my life.
Before I started this withdraw I was having days of sweating and I  think my body was asking for more morphine as I had cut it down a lot . The RSD and other pain conditions have bean at there worse this last two weeks but I fought back and won. I have lost weight and sweated buckets felt like shit and bean in more than usual pain but have now come through the worst. I came off morphine about 2 years ago but had to go back on it as was diagnosed with Fibromygelia so did not suffer as much.

If this helps any body else, who wants to get off morphine I am pleased, but don't expect a easy ride. It is not... I can see why drug addicts go back on it.


All the best to every body.

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