December (1)

1st December

How do I feel, a bit numb I think- Ben was a good friend and a Gentleman. When I held his hand it brought back my own Dads passing, as I did the same for him holding his hand as he slipped away.
I think both Ben and my Dad both died partly of a broken heart. Ben for Cilla his Wife, Dad for my Mum, after she passed away eight weeks earlier..


IA dinner today a lot went, 25 in total. Most of us wore Christmas jumpers or tops. Very noisy with a lot of conversations going on. A good meal and good to catch up with everyone.

Andrew and I took Summer out for a walk I felt like I needed it. Summer enjoyed it anyway.

I have bean looking after Andy's cat while he is away. There used to be two but not now, Cowley got attacked by a swan and it injured his bladder and tail. Seemed strange without him.


Sorted out the cakes today and put marzipan on them as one is being picked up on Thursday. Next the icing in a couple of days.


Very sharp frost to begin with, at four this morning there was none, so must have turned very cold after that.

Iced the cakes they look good I think.

Cleaned up downstairs. My knee is very painful today and I have to be careful how I walk and not to twist it.


I was surposed to be getting my knee looked at today but it was changed. Hopefully next week.

Made some small sponge cakes from the egg yokes that were left after the icing from yesterday. (you only use the whites) These were very tasty and light.

No Pilates today- rained hard most of the day, it would have not bean a nice journey for me on my bike.

Angela came round for a chat and later so did Joy. We all had a good talk nice for the three of us to be together for a change.


My friend Beeston Bev is here, ages since I have seen her. A lot of catching up to do and a very enjoyable day, we als exchanged presents. She took her cake, my present to her and Dave. She said it looked very nice. I forgot to take a picture of them so there are only three cakes here.


My Dads Birthday if he was still here I still miss him a lot.

Age UK when I finally got there, six trains in all one freight train with 59 trucks. Waited at the gates for ages. No sooner had I got through the gates, more trains were coming. (Lincoln has a train level crossing on the High Street)

Age UK was steady so that was good. The Christmas Market is on for the weekend so I think all our customers are there. I put my name down to help at the last of the three Christmas Party's next Friday. Jenny was pleased. Last year I had to leave as the noise was getting to me and causing me pain. Hopefully this year I can cope better.


Changed the bed to day and washed the bedding I was able to put it out as it was sunny and windy. Not for too long though as it rained later.

Summer's leg is about right now, apart from when she has bean laid down then its a bit stiff. I am so pleased as I thought it might have bean broken like I said in the last Blog, but she is fine even bean playing with her ball.

I am knitting some bits for presents so will put pictures up at a later date after Christmas.


In town today getting Christmas presents I did quite well too. Rung Paul up to get a lift home as my  thee bags were heavy. My knee is not good today hurts a lot and is very tight.

Feels very strange without Ben next door. I thought I heard him coughing last night.There are no light on when I go past all in darkness. I know its what he wanted as he had no quality of life for the past two years so its for the best and he was a good age ninety four, but I still will miss him.


Seeing Doctor Metha at last, spoke to him about everything I had to, and got most of my tablets at the chemist. Andrew also went in with me as he was seeing Doctor Metha next.

Very cold and foggy when we walked back. We could not see the Cathedral at all. Pleased to get home.


YES the Hospital appointment At Kingsmill near Nottingham this was a huge place and very bright inside and out. I saw a very nice Surgen called Mr Joby John. I had three xrays of my knee. The Doctor is quite reluctant to operate because of my RSD. He suggested an alternative. I did not know there was one. An injection straight into my knee just at the side of the knee cap opposite side to the main pain area.  I said yes I will try it, what have I got to loose, nothing-- if it works great if not the operation goes ahead. Doctor Metha did not think an injection would be possible.

The injection needle was very long and went in most of the way. Yes it did hurt but no more than a bad B12 injection. The knee straight away felt very tight and quite a bit of pain.  I got a plaster too, he did say the pain could get worse before it gets better.

Not very clear but ducks and chickens on my plaster.

I was asked to sit in the waiting room quietly for a while just to make sure everything was alright.

After that we went for a cup of tea and a sandwich these are so much cheaper here than in Lincoln County Hospital. A much nicer Hospital all round I think, made me feel very calm and not rushed like it is at Lincoln some times.


Knee very tight and painful today.

Julia Ben's Daughter came round and round me a bouquet of flowers and a card to Paul and I thanking us for everything we did for Ben over the last few years. I said I would do it all again and I will miss him so much. I said to her I keep thinking I can hear him coughing. We all knew it was going to happen soon but still it was a shock when it does.



Age UK Party the third party of the weak so the last one. All went well, Jenny bought me some raffle. tickets but I did not win. I was looking after some tickets for the Mayors wife and she won, I went up and got a beauty gift set for her, nice it was too. The Mayor's number came up twice as well. The music was not too loud this year as last years then it was very loud and distorted- as the speakers were not set up right. This year a Choir and a lady was singing, both very good too. After we got our Christmas dinner, not the best as it had bean kept warm for around an hour but still good. We have to pay now for our meal so a free one is always good.


What a bitter cold wind it is today straight from Siberia, biter cold on the common. Even feels cold in the house.

Lindsay dropped off Jamie-Lee and went shopping. We played with the Lego and made a mask and did some colouring. Lindsay picked her up and off they went home.

Paul was soon home from watching football he said it was very cold.

Not too bad this first part of the month apart from my knee that is. The pain is still setting off the RSD. At night when I just want to rest, the pain really seems to get worse but the Doctor did say it would get worse first, then hopefully improve.

  The very best to you all and a Happy Christmas. Love Gill.



Eye test today the optician said my eyes were good and have improved since the last test. They were damaged when I had the seizures in and by the pool on holiday August 2016. Left eye the worst as it was scraped. My eyes took a long time to recover needing two new stronger lots of glasses. So its good news all round no test for two years.


Sorting out the garden which has bean neglected this year. Got all the dead plants and weeds into the green bin. I took a lot of cuttings of fuchsias and put them in the greenhouse, hopefully some will take root. Some will be for Wayne's garden as there is a lot.


Summer had her haircut today looks like a little pup again. So soft and white.

  So pretty.


Spoke to Doctor Metha about my knee (this was a phone call not a visit) he said it will need surgery, whether keyhole or more major he does not know. I asked him about muscle relaxants and he said for me BACLOFEN is the best. I still have some from last time so I have started taking them, only one a day to see if this helps as only a little help needed.

I like Doctor Who and have bean watching this, I am not sure about the new one- Jodie Whittaker.    A lady this time but, we will see, this weeks was good.


No Pilate's today knee quite sore. I can not get it to stop hurting at all.

Played Scrabble later with Andrew and Hannah. A good game I won by one point. I kept getting vowels, seven at one point. Andrew had none.

A lot of pain in my legs when I went to bed.


Met a lady on the South Common that rescues Westies and she had a new one. This dog lost his lady owner, she went into Hospital and never came home, then was mistreated by her partner, not being fed and was hit. Poor dog first he looses his Mum then gets mistreated. If he did not want the dog why did he not bring it in sooner had it not suffered enough ?
Anyway it's doing well now he came right up to me and was getting some fuss. All her rescue dogs have come to me for a fuss but not to anyone else. Maybe they sense kindness.


AGE UK very busy today every table taken up all the time. Even when Jenny and I left at 2-00pm there were still 4 tables in use. Bit of shopping then home. I got myself some new pyjamas soft and fleecy so should be warm, might help my legs keep warm too.

Very tired, more exhaustion I hurt just about everywhere, RSD is having a field day with my knee. Even the right one now hurts a lot. Just leave me alone a bit will you. I have forgotten whats it like
to have no pain.


Got a letter from the knee consultant cancelling the appointment-- what this time booked into bum surgeon or something. The next letter I got on the same day gave me a new appointment for the next week. When will I see someone hopefully then, unless.!!!!.

Went to the crematorium to see Mum, Dad and Phillip- I put on some flowers. Stopped a while then Summer and I headed off home. On the way back Summer got tired and I decided to carry her a bit. A fair walk for her and her little legs I picked her up, and she jumped and slipped to the floor. She seems alright but later on limped and was hardly walking. I thought she may be broken her leg.
I pressed it but it seemed alright. I decided to hang on going to the vets and see how she went on.
She did improve but was in a bit of pain.


Summer's leg I think is a bit better she is still limping but is using it more. Gave her a rest no walking on the common today.

Shopping today with Paul. Got a few presents for Christmas.


More improvement with Summer's leg. I am so pleased no vets trip needed this time. I think she had pulled a muscle.

Making bread today, I could not make out the quantity needed-- it might as well have bean in Chinese. Put in too much salt.  My mind could not work it out at all. I am told this is BRAIN FOG common in RSD. I know this is happening more now than it used too. Also staring black out seizures. I hurt everywhere, standing, sitting or laying.


Hell of a lot of pain in my joints never letting up at all. PLEASE STOP I HAVE HAD ENOUGH.

My face to face with Doctor Metha has bean changed again. When I see him it will be now on 11th December and the next day for my knee unless it's changed again. I was hoping to see the knee consultant first but at this rate I will be lucky to see anyone.


Took Summer on the Fairground Common as its flatter. I have bean going down Sincil Bank the last few days and not very far either, better for her at the moment. Her leg is good, hardly a limp now but I can see its not quite right yet.

My knee is very tight and sore today even when sitting down the pain will not stop..


Age Uk very steady almost quiet but it was nice not to be rushed off our feet.
The volunteers coordinator has left suddenly, she will not be missed by us the volunteers as she was not a peoples person and hardly spoke to us..

Squidge came round and asked me to look after Ben and Emmie (two doors away) for a few hours while they went out, I said I would. Another knock on the door a bit later, and Ben's (from next door) carer was stood there. She was worried about Ben as he was unresponsive. One of Bens relations came later and we both stopped with Ben. I held his hand and talked to him giving him the occasional kiss on his head. We ended up calling an Ambulance as we could not get any of his close family on the phone. He was not good, but they did not take him to hospital. He is coming to the end of his life. I got to look after the children Ben and Emmie a lot later than expected.

 I went back round to next door later, and Ben's son was there. I said if you need me I will sit with him. His other son arrived later so I was not needed. I went to bed around 5am but could not sleep for a long while.

December 1st

Ben slipped away around dinner time. His same carer came round very upset as she thought he had gone.  I gave him a kiss and held his hand to say good bye. We phoned 999 and they came to sort him out and confirm what we had thought.


November (1)

November 1st

B12 and Health check with nurse, both went well. 9% chance of getting any old age things like blood pressure and heart problems. This is good as both parents suffered with both of these. Plus weight and life style type 2 Diabetus. My waist was good 27.5 " or 70cm as this it what they go by for ahead problems. So all OK I did not think there would be any problems. I have never bean a heavy weight even when pregnant. I weigh now 8stone eleven pounds with shoes and clothes on..

Rang Age UK as I am not going tomorrow they were not very happy but I feel like I need another week. The  seizures really take the stuffing out of me, and leaves me very week and of course more pain. The bruises and black eyes are a lot better now and beginning to go.


A frosty cold start to the day. Paul's friend  Lynne came round and brought sausage rolls these were very rich and later upset my IBS,

Making Barbie tent or trying to any way. This is out of pink fur and will have sleeping bags. Not going too well at the moment, so starting again. I could not work out how to fold the sleeping bags as they have a liner and are padded. I was told its BRAIN FOG. May be it was or just being a fool. I am going to restart tomorrow.


Tent going a lot better today. What ever it was yesterday causing the problems is going well today.
I got the tent just about all finished and think it looks pretty good.


Machining today- towels, trousers and the sleeping bags. Worked out how to do them. Got them all done the Barbies will be warm now.

 Inside the tent ready for bed.
Husky will look after us- lights out -night night.


Not a good day temperature wise, it's all over the place, mine that is not the weather. It has not bean this bad for a while. Sweating and cold over and over again so many times though out the day. Weather it's my body readjusting after  the seizures or what. I know its a nuisance, and one that RSD suffers have to put up with. Lot of knee pain as well the last few days. The left one with the tear. Hopefully soon it will be sorted out.

Loads of fireworks going off and Summer is not happy. She is not afraid of them but I think she wants to chase them.

Made Christmas cake no 1, a sherry one this time, 3 to go. Not as many this year I am finding it harder each year to do them.

Had a quick few minutes sleep and woke and was not sure where I was or even if it was day or night as 6-20. I thought I had bean asleep downstairs and it was morning. Took me a few minutes to work it out. Paul was at football so I think that's what threw me as we would have bean having tea or washing up normally. I know it was a weird and unsettling feeling.


Not at Pilate's this week next hopefully. IBS playing up big time first I can't go then I can't stop going. Stomach bloated and sore. Not feeling much like eating either. A lot of this is extra tablets I know. Take the tablets plays up the IBS don't take them extra PAIN. You can't win with RSD.


In town today first time since the seizures. Got a lot of Christmas and Birthday presents. I felt tired but it was nice to be out apart from the common. Angela came round for Paul to sort out trains for her to go to York. This was soon done


Phoned up Newark Hospital as instructed from letter to make sure they had my knee scan. A few minutes later they rung back and said I was booked in to a ANKLE AND FOOT SURGEON NOT A KNEE SURGEON. This is bad as know I have to wait for another appointment 5th Dec. Nothing seems to be going right to get to see someone about my knee, 6 weeks for the scan now this. I now need to go to Nottingham and not Newark this time. Lincoln is not taking on till next year as they are in shush a state. Well hopefully this will be going ahead unless they have booked me into a breast Clinic!!!

Age UK went well we were not crazy busy but steady I was pleased as it gave me chance to have a rest and a bit of a sit down. Everyone was pleased to see me back. Even some of the customers missed me.
A good day but tired when I got home.

Andrew got a free sofa bed for his room and him and Hannah plus Scott (Hannah friend) took it up the two flights of stairs. A lot of shoving and pushing, plus taking down all the video shelves they finally got it there. Well done all of you.  I did not think it would go up. The height of the ceiling used to be more, but we added another flight of stairs above, for 4th bedroom, which made the ceiling a lot lower so less room to move things. When we got a divan bed once it had to come in the bedroom window. Not easy when its the second story.


 Made Christmas cake number 2 today with brandy added. The smell was so good.


Cake number 3 done one more to go.

I tripped over the electric chair cable mid morning and pulled my shoulder and bad knee. I hurt for the rest of the day.

I got a phone call to say my Doctors appointment is now 11th of December instead of the 20th of November. First the Scan took six weeks to be sorted, then the wrong Doctor and clinic for my knee. Now my own Doctor messing me around. I am fed up of it all. Seven weeks from when I first made the Doctors appointment.


Sorted out the greenhouse now the cucumbers and tomatoes have finished. Bean a good crop of cucumbers but not so the tomatoes.
Knee not too good today I don't think it will get any better till I get some treatment hopefully very soon.


My friend Lyn here today as it was her Birthday yesterday. She said she would come here instead of me going there. That was very nice of her.

I went to Pilate's, Paul gave me a lift so it did not take too much out of me. I did struggle a bit though as it was. I felt very far away most the time.

Had a good chat with Lyn, I have know her nearly forty years , we met in hospital when having our first sons. She was in the opposite bed and her buzzer did not work so I  pressed mine instead. We have remained friends ever since.


Out today for a change, meeting Jenny and Joy for dinner/lunch. A nice meal and god conversation too. and I enjoyed it. I had soup, home made chicken and veg, very tasty.

Winter is truly here the leaves have nearly all gone making a carpet on the ground. Quite windy today and the leaves were falling like snow. 


 Age UK a  steady day with Polly back, so the kitchen on full force. I am very tired but I do enjoy my time there. Keron was also helping us doing the Cappuccinos and coffee drinks. This meant it did not have to be turned off. No shopping today as I have an eye test tomorrow, so will do it then while in town.

The last few weeks have not bean easy. RSD is like a horror ride with no chance of getting off.

Well I hope things are going better for you all. All the best Love Gill

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