THE UGLY Part 3 20th -24th JULY

As it got lighter the reality came to me, it was more like a geriatric ward.
Most of the patients were either deaf, senile or both. My heart dropped I sobbed,I thought maybe something had happened to me that I did not know about. The patients were very tiring and kept asking the same questions over and over again.

The lady opposite me did not know where she was or if had she eaten, thought I was a nurse, and kept asking which was her bed. She was like that all day apart from when she was asleep.

The lady next to me was very deaf but nice, but could not speak to her as she never heard me. The lady on the other side slept most of the time looked like the granny of THE ADAMS FAMILY, she ate like a animal.

The lady at the end of my row, who I did not see properly, till the last day, seamed normal & was fed up as well.

One lady though Maggie Thatcher was still in power and was very confused.

A German lady was very loud and very possessive of her things but all so deaf but quite nice.

The lady at the end got to me the most, she kept shouting out LET ME DIE I WANT TO DIE most of the time she was awake, I cried because I felt sorry for her, I though she might have a terminal illness but was told she had just given up, there was nothing much wrong with her.

Mon 21ST
The pain began to subside and I was able to move about more, I got out of bed properly for the first time, I sat in a chair by the bed. I hurt so much - from so many spasm's.

The lady opposite me kept asking the same things over and over again. The other lady was moaning about dieing all day long it really got to me. I got by, with help of the radio and my Ipod, I sat there most of the time with my eyes shut.

Tues 22TH

Physio came today and I walked for the first time for nearly 2 weeks one on either side holding me. I was very wobbly, they came back later and I walked again.

Wednesday 23TH

To day I had a bath I was lifted in a hoist in to the bath I did not like it too much, it hurt every wear, but a least I was clean. To day I walked on my own with someone on each side still very wobbly, I could now if I wanted go to toilet with someone by my side. I still felt very weak my body hurt so much.

By now I was feeling very low and tear full, I asked one of the nurses if she would come and talk to me; she said she would later.

As there were a few problems in other parts of the ward, tablets were late so the nurses were a bit stressed.
When my tabs were given to me my light was put on by a male nurse, another came back & told me off for leaving it on as it would up set the others, they had bean asleep hours, that's one thing they did do, was sleep at night thankfully.
I could not turn it off myself as it had bean turned on at the wall and did not work by the buzzer.

I put my Ipod on for the night ,the same nurse came past and said you will not get to sleep like that, I told her I did not sleep much, I had insomnia, off she went again.

Later on I needed some Oxynorm for the pain so I buzzed for the nurse, the male one came he was very nice. He and another came back with it I asked if there was somebody I could talk to; he said no, they were all busy.

Thursday 24TH

In the morning I asked the same nurse from last night if she would take me to the toilet she said soon. She turned her head and said to her colleague she can wait,
I thought what have I done to up set her. In the other ward I was know to some as the quiet one in the corner, I hardly ever bothered them apart from pain relief.
I asked another nurse to take me to the toilet.

The doctors came round and said I could go home today, thank you. I had to take it easy, they thought it was my fibromyalgia, as much as my RSD, flaring up and it would calm down with rest.

I was still upset and decided to talk to a nurse that seamed nice, she sat down but was called away before I could really talk much, promising to come back ,she got busy and looked across and said I will be there soon I am on all day, this lifted me a bit. To give me and her more time to talk I asked her to ring Paul to pick me up me later.

Dinner came and went I still had no appetite. I asked where this nurse was and was told she was not on the ward this afternoon. I said she was coming to talk to me,she just looked at me I said is there any one I can talk to she said we are very busy, I said OK. I felt very let down.

Before I left I went to the toilet and saw the lady who I had not really seen before, I said I was home today. She said tomorrow thank god, she too had not had the best time in that ward. If I had know she was there I would asked to be moved at least I would have had some one to talk to.

Paul came and I got ready to go home I said my goodbyes, and left happy to be going.

I was in that ward for 4 days of hell, a total of 2 weeks 1 day in hospital.
I kept sane if that is the word by listening to radio by day Ipod at night, till I fell asleep.

This track kept coming on the radio it about summed it all up.


When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
When the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

High up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
If you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

I am sure if I would have had my tabs when I needed them the pain would have not got out of control, & I would not have to endure this 2 weeks of pain and suffering.
I think I would have bean in a few days at the most. It will probably take weeks to recover from this & we go on holiday in 2 days...we will have to see.

I know the patients in the last ward were not to blame, I had been put in the wrong ward. I am sure I could have been treated better than that, specially moving at 3am,
a letter of complaint has bean sent and they are dealing with it, what that means I am not too sure.

While I was in hospital my tabs went from 14 a day to 37-40 a day. Plus OXYNORM.
I had worked so hard to get them down to the minimum. Some of the tabs I received might not be in the right order but they are all there.
I came home on 33 tabs.

When I was home I needed some with me to help me walk as I was still not too good on my feet all so help up the stairs.
A lot is probably the extra tabs I have bean on and the pain my body has bean through, but it will get better as time goes on.


Went to see him on Friday. He took me off few tabs PARACETAMOL and DIHYDROCODEINE.
at my request. Try to get back as you were, he said, all so I have stopped PROPANTHELINE [for sweating] to see what happens.

He said go on your holiday and try to rest as much as possible and use your wheelchair(!) as much as possible.

I hope people you read this can under stand that RSD is not a thing to upset as it does not like it, those of you with RSD will already know.

Well bye for now, write soon, with holiday week, take care.


Anonymous said...

Hi Gill,
Jesus you have been through the mill. I know exactly what you have been through, went through it a few times a couple of years ago.
LCH hasnt changed a bit since I was last addmitted by A&E by the sounds of it - glad I go else where now for anything planned etc. (I did think it was just RSDers who were treated badly but was so wrong - mum has been in 3 times via A&E in the last 2 weeks for heart/lung problems!).

I hope you recover soon and PLEASE do go on your holiday and enjoy yourself. Relaxation is just what you need. Just dont over do it (not that it is likely

Take Care

Anonymous said...

very interesting to read I really feel for u x it must be quite frustrating that you go through all that and the hospital stay puts u bk so far x

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